Nicole Dirks

Wash Hands With Evil Soap

Today we will build your body in The Sims 3.
Click personality “Flirt,” life wish “Emperor of Evil,”
Put hair in emo swoosh, tramp stamp in rainbow,
Click bikini with flames, hips with edge,
Toggle voice for Monroeish Simlish hello: sul sul.
Resize forehead to test head without brain.

With cheat code “motherlode,” dispose of all brain
Power required to make ends meet in Sims 3.
Drop Sim in empty lot, watch Sim greet sul sul
Empty street. Next build your Empire of Evil:
Plunk bathtub in backyard, step-stool by window edge,
Dig pool with no ladder under sky of rainbow.

Find Lover at end of Barnacle Bay town rainbow,
Lad with carrot top, skater shirt, life wish “Best Brain
Surgeon.” Click “Joke,” “Flirt,” “Flirt,” “Flirt,” “Offer Rose,” until you edge
Into pink on relationship meter, clap clap! Love in The Sims 3
Is a matter of repetition. Love in the Empire of Evil
Is never good. Best Brain Surgeon comes by all sul sul

Right when Vampire Sim is finally biting your neck. Sul sul,
Offer him soup. Brain Surgeon and Vampire float rainbow
Emojis. You start fire heating soup while Evil
Does its thing: they swim, look for ladder. Sim brain
Thinks drowning is waving. Evil in The Sims 3
Is clicking “Wash Hands with Evil Soap,” considering window edge,

While Empire does the dirty work. When Real vertebrae edge
Against concrete wall by bed, Vampire respawns in window all    sul sul,
And Empire burns to         glitch         close Sims 3
Open       Pottery Barn         again         ponder kid’s headboard         in rainbow
Cause cheap         clap clap       motherlode rings     “drop by?”       no brain
Go wash hands             lame ass soap                                 evil evil evil evil evil evil evil

Nothing devious about depression                             but Evil
Keeps it fresh       you feel off         window edge
Opportunity         to close door         leads to open        hands       to water      brain
Doesn’t need ladder         to leave         pool greet sul sul
Get to business         in the sink         scrub a dub dub dubdubdubdubdubdub         shiny Rainbow
Politics on phone with motherlode         dispose         hangnails         memory         Sims 3

How Evil it is to go for lunch with motherlode when you have an entire Empire in The Sims 3.
On toilet break     swipe left Emo girl 1 2 3     scrub a dub dub     Rainbow
Back to it     bowl of minestrone     fly still down     Mother “hey”     Freudian glitch “sul sul”